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No Right Turns

One is a super maniacal mad man who

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2014 in Humor

 

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Newt’s ‘Dumbfounded’ by the President’s re-election

So, President Obama scores not just a victory but a decisive victory over Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential footnote Willard Mitt Romney and former United States Congressman, Speaker of the House and serial adulterer Leroy Newt Gingrich is offering his take on what happened, saying it’s time for the GOTP “to stop, take a deep breath and learn.”

“The president won an extraordinary victory. And the fact is we owe him the respect of trying to understand what they did and how they did it.” Leroy said, “But if you had said to me three weeks ago, Mitt Romney would get fewer votes than John McCain and it looks like he’ll be 2 million fewer, I would have been dumbfounded.”

But wait, that’s not all, in a recent Politico op-ed Gingrich wrote, “For the conservative movement and the Republican Party to succeed in the future (and while they are not identical the two are inextricably bound together) we will have to learn the lessons of 2012.” He explained, “An intellectually honest and courageous Republican Party has nothing to fear from the current situation.”

Asked about what he wrote on NBC’s “Today,” Gingrich said, “The great thing about elections is they belong to the American people.” He added, “I was wrong last week, as was virtually every major Republican analyst. And so, you have to stop and say to yourself, if I was that far off, what do I need to learn to better understand America?”

Well, Newt, to “better understand America”, you need to learn your head’s full of mush, and your party’s archaic platform’s out of touch with 21st century America. It’s not rocket science; conservatives want to defend the wealthy, cut taxes, increase defense spending, nullify Obamacare, overturn Roe v. Wade, and start a war in Iran; thank goodness the majority of American voters disagree.

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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No Right Turns

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2012 in Humor

 

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Newt’s sugar daddy says he’s done?

Various news reports are saying Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential “no way it’s ever going to happen” hopeful Newton Leroy Gingrich’s being told he’s done, and Newton’s sugar daddy, casino magnate Sheldon Adelson’s apparently lost any hope in his electoral prospects; that’s pretty much the end when your one chief – if not only – backer decides you’re done. To date Adelson has reportedly poured about $16.5 million down the Gingrich drain.

Adelson’s conceded his “golden boy’s” basically got no chance of winning the GOTP nomination, “It appears as though [Gingrich is] at the end of his line. Because mathematically he can’t get anywhere near the numbers [of delegates required to gain the nomination], and there’s unlikely to be a brokered convention.”

Of course even if there’s a brokered convention who outside of Newt and Callista really believes he’d ever – in a million years – be the GOTP nominee?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Newton’s never had a chance; he’s not just damaged goods, he’s the box that fell out of the UPS truck on the interstate overpass and got pummeled by every other vehicle for the next three hours until there’s nothing left. He’s a failed former House Speaker who resigned in disgrace; a failed former House Speaker who had not one, but at least two extra-marital affairs, while prosecuting a President for lying about an affair; a failed former House Speaker who didn’t just have affairs but who also asked for an “open marriage” and who told one wife he was divorcing her while she was undergoing chemotherapy, all while trumpeting – wait for it – “family values”; yeah, like he ever had a chance; but hopefully he sticks around for awhile if only to annoy Willard.

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Latest 2012 Presidential Polls – (pre-Missouri Caucus) 16 Mar 12 Edition

Willard Mitt Romney got his lunch handed to him this week in the deep south where clearly Republican Tea Party (GOTP) voters didn’t buy his “How y’all doin?” nonsense. Romney came in third in both Alabama and Mississippi, falling in behind Santorum and Gingrich, but he won Hawaii and American Samoa.

In Alabama’s Proportional Primary Rick Santorum took first (19 delegates); Leroy Newt Gingrich took second (12 delegates) Romney limped into third (11 delegates) and Ron Paul came in his traditional last place (0 delegates).

In American Samoa’s Proportional Caucus Romney took first in the strong Mormon island winning all 9 delegates.

In Hawaii’s Proportional Caucus Romney again took first (9 delegates) Santorum took second (5 delegates) Paul took third (3 delegates) and came in dead last (0 delegates).

In Mississippi’s Proportional Primary Santorum took first (13 delegates) Gingrich was second (12 delegates) and Romney came in third with fewer votes (12 delegates) and Paul was again last (0 delegates).

Next up is Missouri’s Non-Binding Caucus – 17 Mar 12 (52 delegates): PPP (D) poll of registered voters conducted 27 – 29 Jan 12; Gingrich 30; Santorum 28; Romney 24 and Paul 11.

Puerto Rico’s Winner Take All Primary – 18 Mar 12 (23 delegates): no polling data available

In Illinois’ Direct Election Primary – 20 Mar 12 (69 delegates): Chicago Tribune poll of registered voters conducted 7 – 9 Mar 12; Romney 35; Santorum 31; Gingrich 12 and Paul 7.

In Louisiana’s Proportional Primary – 24 mar 12 (46 delegates): GCR/WWL-TVh poll of likely voters conducted 8 – 10 Mar 12; Santorum 25; Romney 21; Gingrich 20 and Paul 6.

The regular season records for the dauntless candidates: Romney 19; Santorum 9; Gingrich 2 and Paul 0 with Maine still unbelievably yet to be determined.

The GOTP Delegate Count to date is: Romney 496; Santorum 236; Gingrich 141 and Paul 66.

The current GOTP Popular Vote Count is:

Romney 3,477,020

Santorum 2,286,339

Gingrich 2,106,200

Paul 949,914

Nationally the GOTP Nomination according to the latest Gallup Tracking poll of registered voters conducted 10 – 14 Mar 12: Romney 35; Santorum 27; Gingrich 15 and Paul 10 with 13% undecided.

So, how does each of the Four Horseman of the GOPocalypse stack up against the President? The latest FOX News poll of registered voters conducted 10 – 12 Mar 12; if the general election were held today:

President Obama 46/Romney 42

President Obama 51/Santorum 39

President Obama 53/Gingrich 35

President Obama 50/Paul 38

If the GOTP clown car had finally stopped spinning, and the general election was held today, Willard Mitt Romney would be the GOTP nominee, and he’d lose to President Obama in the general election.

Current electoral college totals based on current poll numbers:

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Mathematically Improbable for Romney to win nomination

Being somewhat of a politics-geek I’ve been thinking why the Romney camp’s pushing the idea he’s the sole inevitable winner of the Republican Tea Party (GOTP) nominating process; the only answer I can come up with is because he’s nothing of the kind and they’re trying to weaken his opponent’s base. They’ve come to understand the longer Rick Santorum and Newton Leroy Gingrich hang on the fewer delegates their guy wins.

If you run the numbers – specifically the number of delegates yet to be won – it’s abundantly clear Romney’s the only one who can still win the nomination outright prior to the GOTP convention 27 – 30 Aug 12; but it’s not very clear at all if he’ll be able to do so, in fact the odds are fast becoming anything but in his favor. There are 878 delegates left to be picked up by the candidates and 1,144 needed for victory; Romney’s picked up 455 delegates to date and still needs to pick up 691 delegates to win, or roughly 80% of all the remaining delegates. If you eliminate the “winner take all” primaries won so far he’s averaging about 33% of delegates, and that’s not going to get it done; even if he wins all the “winner take all” primaries – which he may, but is doubtful – if Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich remain in the race it doesn’t look probable for Romney, and thus a brokered convention is looming more and more on the horizon.

There are 126 so-called “super delegates” available at the GOTP Convention, made up of state chairs and additional RNC types, but they’re not necessarily going all to Romney, especially considering his “popularity” within the party; even if we were to count all the super delegates to Mitt, he only takes the nomination at that point by a mere 50 or so delegates. Santorum or Gingrich could very much act as spoilers sending this into a brokered convention. At any rate, it’s not a foregone conclusion that Mitt’s the nominee. Not just yet.

Of course the only possible way for Santorum to win now is in a brokered convention and that’s what he’s aiming at, he knows he can’t win any other way; Newt’s reason for hanging on is pure and simple, he hates Romney’s guts for the character attacks following the South Carolina primary; so at this point it’s all about keeping Romney from winning. Ron Paul’s still hanging in there but he’s pretty much inconsequential, basically just siphoning off delegates here and there. Romney’s basically in a begging position where he needs the others to fall out.

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Cut down the forest of hypocrisy …

Christian conservatives are screaming about contraception being forced on them by the President, but refuse to condemn Rush Limbaugh for saying vile and degrading things about women.

Don’t preach “family values” to me until I see you condemn Limbaugh.

Don’t preach “religious” freedom to me until you condemn Limbaugh

Don’t claim to be the “moral” majority until you condemn Limbaugh.

You scream about “values” and about “religion” and then allow someone like this to be your hero; to be your spokesman?

You call someone a hero who calls a young woman a “slut” and “prostitute” and who attacks her for three full broadcast days, more than 9 hours of accusations and vilifying, asking to see the videos of her alleged promiscuity?

Want to know where the GOTP candidates really stand on “family values” and how they view women?

As a Latter-day Saint, where’s Mitt Romney’s outrage?

As Catholics, where’s Rick Santorum’s and Newt Gingrich’s outrage?

I’m sorry, I can’t see your “values” because there’s a forest of hypocrisy in my way.

Do what’s right conservatives and then come talk to me …

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2012 in Women's Rights

 

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Newt says he’ll lower gas prices to $2 per gallon and turn lead to gold

According to the Associated Press (AP) Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential candidate Newton Leroy Gingrich is pulling a page from former candidate Michele Bachmann’s playbook claiming he’ll make gas prices drop to as low as $2 a gallon if he’s elected.

The promises were flowing deep as Gingrich campaigned in Oklahoma hoping to capitalize on the latest GOTP fear and gloom tactic that gas prices will rise sharply this summer and Newton is pushing if he’s elected he’ll enact relaxed regulation on domestic oil production which will cause the gas to flow like water.

What the Newtser isn’t saying is that Presidents have extremely limited, if indeed any, power to affect prices of a global commodity like oil. Why does the most powerful man in the world have such limited influence? Because such costs depend largely on supply and demand, hence as the country’s economy improves, demand could rise, putting extra pressure on prices.

Gingrich’s been playing the oil exploration card hard as he tries to resurrect a dead campaign slamming the President for delaying a Canada-to-Texas oil pipeline even though the building of the pipeline wouldn’t affect one single penny of the short-term gas prices; Gingrich however is not one to play on reality, and claiming the President is hurting the oil and gas industry plays well in states like Oklahoma which depend heavily on those industries.

“With Gingrich policies, what we know is we will dramatically expand our independence in the world market, dramatically expand our capacity to produce energy without regard to our foreign potential enemies and in the process prices will clearly be a lot lower,” Gingrich said. “Now, I picked $2.50 as a stabilizing price for capital investment reasons. It could easily go down to $2.”

Newt waxed nostalgic, boasting that gas cost was as little as $1.13 per gallon when he led the House and that the national average was below $2 when President Obama was inaugurated.

Newt’s memory is a little off, the average cost of gas when he was speaker ranged from $1.41in 1995 to $1.34 in 1999, but if President Obama’s responsible for rising gas prices now, then wasn’t President Clinton responsible for lower prices then, and not the Speaker of the House? How exactly would the Speaker affect gas prices anyhow? What Newt failed to mention during his litany of Obama bashing was how the price of gas capped out at $4.21 near the end of the Bush/Cheney era in 2008.

This is good old fashioned conservative fear mongering plain and simple; if we re-elect the President gas prices will sky rocket, Iran will destroy Israel, the Constitution will be torn to shreds, dogs and cats will live together … blah, blah, blah. Truth is the price of gas has increased because the U.S. economy is doing better, raising demand for gas along with everything else, and that’s good – not bad; the only way someone like a (God forbid) President Gingrich delivers $2 per gallon gas is if the economy tanks again. Of course the average Tea Party voter doesn’t care about facts, they care about hating the President, and that’s what Newt’s counting on.

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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President would be frightened to debate Newt?

Just when you thought she’s slinked back into the hinterlands of the Great White North, former Republican Tea Party (GOTP) Queen, Sarah Palin continues to show her admiration for GOTP presidential has been Newton Leroy Gingrich, claiming he’s the one candidate President Barack Obama “would really fear having to debate.”

Of course this is also the woman Katie Couric stumped with such infamous “gotcha” questions as, “Name one Supreme Court decision you have a problem with”, and “What do you read to keep you informed”? But, hey, she can see Russia, and that makes her a foreign policy expert, at least where the “reds” were concerned.

In a recent “discussion” with Greta Van Susteren of FOX PAC (meaning the toughest question she was likely to face would be what she had for breakfast that morning), Palin said the President shouldn’t be looking to debating Willard Mittens Romney, because Newton would be the real danger in a debate.

“Well, I think that Newt Gingrich would be the toughest debater, debating ideas and solutions, and his experience as one who had learned through the Reagan revolution what true conservatism is, and how it is that with foreign policy we need to provide that peace through strength in our world, and how it is that we need to balance budgets and we need to slash budgets because we are going bankrupt, all those things that Newt has talked about in his campaign,” Palin said.

“I think that he could most brightly contrast himself against what Obama’s failed policies have done to this country through debates. So that’s why I say that Obama, I believe, would really fear having to debate Newt Gingrich.”

There’s just one major problem in the Ice Queen’s thinking, President Obama is never going to face Newton in a debate. In fact, Palin’s in La-La Land; her so-called “conservative” hero’s never going to win the nomination, and he never was; he’s a disgraced ex-Speaker, and serial adulterer and the rank and file of the GOP knows this. He’s not remotely electable, and outside of the “Deep South” – or apparently Alaska – where going to Cracker Barrel is a big night on the town, he polls horribly.

Please Sarah, do the decent – and humane thing – and return to the political obscurity from whence John McCain plucked you. Like Newt you’re not remotely qualified to be president, and you’re only slightly less qualified to recommend who is.

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Is Newton going rogue in 2012 election?

Is it possible the time is fast approaching when the Tea Party is going to actually jump ship and splinter the Republican Party?

It appears Newton Leroy Gingrich gave a veiled threat of such a possibility in his “concession” speech after being absolutely pummeled by Willard Mittens Romney in Florida (Newt lost by 14 points). During the speech there appeared to be, what the Huffington Post is reporting as “strains of what could be an independent, third-party run for the White House if he doesn’t get the Republican nomination”.

Newton’s beginning to sound more and more like a B-movie villain monologuing on how he’s henceforth not running a “Republican campaign but a people’s campaign” – and raising, according to Huffington, “the specter, at least rhetorically, that his vision of his role in American history is too large and personal to be contained by a mere political party”. If really wants to pull this off though he needs to buy a really ugly hairless Sphinx cat and call it Mr. Bigglesworth. Wearing the silver jump suit is of course optional.

But can Dr Strangepuff really pull off a third party victory? Well, let me think … (try to stop laughing hysterically … wipe tears from eyes …) no. If Teddy Roosevelt couldn’t do it this overinflated egotistical caricature of a human being certainly won’t be able to; what he will do is siphon off the uber-conservative cracker vote from Mittens, and propel President Obama to the largest landslide victory since Reagan.

To his crowd of ardent followers Newt pledged in an allusion to the Founding Fathers and the Declaration of Independence, “If I become your president, I pledge to you my life, my fortune and my sacred honor.”

Any candidate should know better than to pledge things they either have no intention of giving or lack; Newton has no intention of ever putting his life on the line, this is all about claiming a foot note in history next to Teddy and Ross Perot; he’s also certainly not going to part with his fortune; lastly, it’s a pie crust promise to pledge honor when you possess none.

There’s a very strong chance Gingrich will run as an independent because he has to leave the 2012 stage as something more than the right-wing nut job buffoon who got his clock cleaned by the likes of Romney, and it’s much better to go down as the independent candidate in the general election than the second banana in the GOTP primary, especially if you drag Mittens down with you. Yes, he’s that mean, and that egotistical.

Oh, you should probably be prepared for more allusions of Newt being today’s William Wallace, George Washington and Robert E. Lee.

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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