During last night’s current episode of “Crazy Eights” Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential hopefuls talked about (because let’s be serious these are not debates) water boarding, Iran and the never-ending war in Afghanistan.

Herman “Pizza Man” Cain and Michele “Krazy” Bachmann both said they’d reinstate water boarding; testimony, if there ever needed to be, that only crazy people torture prisoners.

Cain said while he opposes torture (except where female employees are involved) he said he’d leave it up to military leaders, not their civilian superiors, to decide what forms of interrogation amount to torture, proofing yet again that he has mozzarella for brains.

He’d leave it up to military leaders to decide America’s torture policies; this is just one more very good reason why I’m not a Republican and why it will be a cold day before I’d vote Republican again. There’re very good reasons why the Founding Fathers made the civilian government in charge of the military, and determining what constitutes torture is just one of them. Military leaders – unfortunately – often tend to worry more about the ends justifying the means instead of what might be right or wrong; the nation’s policies were never meant to be made by generals, if they were Patton would have plunged the country into World War III against the Soviets, and MacArthur would have nuked the Chinese.

While Cain and Bachmann may be giddy about water boarding, Huntsman said its use diminishes U.S. standing in the world and Paul said it is illegal.

When the subject of Iran was introduced, Newter Gingrich gave one of his classic, flim-flam style answers; appearing to be uber-intelligent, but never really answering the question.

“There are a number of ways to be smart about Iran, and a few ways to be stupid. The administration skipped all the ways to be smart,” the Newt declared.

Another good reason I’m not a Republican and why I won’t vote GOTP, came when the “candidates” were asked if they’d support a “pre-emptive” strike (ala the Bush Doctrine) to prevent Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon.

Newt ploughed right ahead declaring if other means failed, “you have to take whatever steps are necessary” to prevent the Islamic regime from gaining a nuclear weapon.

Mittens said he’d take military action “if all else fails.”

Ricky “the Rick” Santorum dutifully agreed. Noting that a mysterious computer virus had caused disruption inside Iran’s nuclear labs, and that Iranian scientists have been assassinated in recent months, “I hope that the U.S. has been involved” in those and other covert actions.

Let me get this straight, a man running for President said he hoped America has been involved in the assassination of scientists in a country we’re not at war with? Yes folks it’s yet another extremely good reason not to be, nor to vote Republican.

Ronny Paul – who on occasion does sound like all the brain gears are meshing together – wanted no part of a military strike. “It’s not worthwhile to go to war,” he said. He added if America’s security is threatened the president must ask Congress for a formal declaration of war before taking military action.

The Reverend Perry responded by saying America can handle the situation differently; “This country can sanction the Iranian central bank right now and shut down that country’s economy, and that’s what the president needs to do,” he said.

The war in Afghanistan produced the same range of responses as the question relating to Iran’s nuclear ambitions.

Jon “I can’t believe it’s not butter” Huntsman and Paul both said it’s time for U.S. troops to come home.

“I say it’s time to come home. I say this nation has achieved its key objectives,” Huntsman said.

Romney and Perry said they’d side with military commanders about when to withdraw troops introducing a fourth reason for not being or voting Republican.

The President – as a civilian – is the Commander-in-Chief not the military commanders; they take their orders from him, not the other way around. The President may ask for the advice of his military commanders, but he doesn’t leave foreign policy up to those in uniform, including when to start or stop wars. While there are many leaders in the military who abhor war and fight only when necessary, there are too many who love the “smell of napalm in the morning”.

After this latest round of the GOTP circus what additional reasons have we learned not to vote Republican in November?

We’ve learned not to vote Republican in November because GOTP wannabes:

Support torturing prisoners, and said they’d leave it up to military commanders to decide policy.

Support starting a pre-emptive war with Iran.

Support assassinating scientists in countries we’re not at war with.

Support allowing military commanders the power to decide when America ends wars.