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Monthly Archives: March 2012

No Right Turns

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2012 in Humor

 

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Mitt’s up to his whatsit in pink slime?

From the “why am I not surprised” file, it’s being reported the founder of Beef Products, known for its production of “pink slime,” is – wait for it – a major donor to Republican Tea party (GOTP) presidential “wants it so bad he’ll literally say anything” hopeful Willard Mitt Romney.

It appears “pink slime” creator Eldon Roth held a Sioux Falls fundraiser for Romney last year and donated $190,000 to Willard’s campaign in 2010, Politico reports, and as it turns out, Roth  also donated to Romney’s 2008 campaign.

But, what really adds sauce to the goose is Willard held Roth up as the classic American business success story in his definitive 2010 autobiography, “No Apology,” aka “I’m Fabulously Wealthy and You Suck Because You’re Not”:

“America’s industries and domestic markets are, in fact, breeding grounds for innovation. A young Eldon Roth held a blue-collar job in a cold-storage plant where beef was frozen soon after it was butchered. His idea: Instead of slowly freezing the meat in walk-in freezers, why not place the beef on conveys and pass it between two supercold drums, instantly freezing it to lock in flavor? Eldon now owns a very large jet. Far more important than that, he has created hundreds of jobs.”

You can almost hear his Mind Captain add, “as well as having created a beef-like substitute for the masses made from the low cost fattier parts of whatever is left over after we get our prime cuts, treated with ammonium hydroxide”.

Of course this won’t trouble Romney, it’s not like the donation’s really big or anything, it’s only a trivial amount; and as far as the pink slime goes, what’s the big deal, it’s not like it’s served in America’s prep schools?

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Latest 2012 Presidential Polls – 29 Mar 12 Edition

So, the up and down, twisting and turning roller coaster ride also known as the 2012 Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential primary tour continues rather than abating with Richard John “Rick” Santorum winning the Louisiana Proportional Primary (46 delegates) with 49% (10 delegates); Willard Mitt Romney 27.7% (5 delegates) and the other two guys were there somewhere.

Next up is Wisconsin’s Winner Take All Primary – 3 Apr 12 (42 delegates) where in order to maintain some kind of believability Santorum must win, becoming – according to polls – an uphill battle: new Marquette University poll of likely voters conducted 22 – 25 Mar 12; Romney 39 and Santorum 31.

The regular season primary records for the Confederacy of Dunces stands: Romney 21; Santorum 10; Gingrich 2 and “What’s His Name” 0.

The GOTP Delegate Count (1,144 needed to win) to date is: Romney 565; Santorum 256; Gingrich 141 and Paul 66.

The current GOTP Popular Vote Count is:

Romney 4,127,917

Santorum 2,850,546

Gingrich 2,212,001

Paul 1,079,753

Yes, while Willard is leading with 4,127,917 the harsh reality is more votes have been cast for anyone but him; total of all other votes cast = 6,142,300; yeah he may be winning but it still sucks to be Mitt.

Nationally, the GOTP Nomination according to the latest Gallup Tracking poll of registered voters conducted 24 – 28 Mar 12: Romney 39; Santorum 28; Paul 11 and Gingrich 10 with 12% undecided.

So, how do the four Political Marx Brothers stack up against the President? The latest CNN/Opinion Research poll of registered voters conducted 24 – 25 Mar 12; if the general election were held today:

President Obama 54/Romney 43

President Obama 55/Santorum 42

If the GOTP clown car had finally came to a wild spinning stop, and the general election was held today, Willard Mitt Romney would be the GOTP nominee, and he’d lose big to President Obama in the general election.

How big would Willard lose? Well, if the General Election were held today, the Electoral College totals based on current poll numbers:

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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No Right Turns

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in Humor

 

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Mitt tells humorous story of people being fired?

Multiple news reports are surfacing that Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential frontrunner Willard Mitt Romney has put his silver in his mouth again, demonstrating once again his awkward sense of humor, and his seemingly inability to realize how out of touch with Americans’ economic struggles he really truly is.

Case in point; during a tele-town hall meeting with Wisconsin voters Willard decided it would be a great idea to share what he thought was a “humorous” story about his father shutting down a factory in Michigan and moved production to Wisconsin, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, “One of [the] most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors. … They had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and another one in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”

One can almost imagine what his inside voice was saying, “And the real funny part of this was when my father turned to the plant manager and … giggle … he said … snort, giggle … you’re fired! Boy I tell you … giggle … by golly, you should have seen the look on his face!”

Willard’s “humorous anecdote” was just another case of trying to say whatever it takes to win a nomination; “Let’s see, today I’m in Wisconsin, ah yes, I have just the right humorous story to relate to the voters here.” Problem is, Willard just doesn’t get that those who are trying to survive really don’t find it’s very “humorous” to lose your job.

This isn’t the first time Willard’s stepped into this problem, in January, he joked about how he liked “being able to fire people who provide services to me.”

This isn’t a case of “Mitt doesn’t get it”, it’s a case of “Willard can’t get it”; he’s clearly incapable of relating to any class of people not exchanging Grey Poupon through limo windows.

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Newt’s sugar daddy says he’s done?

Various news reports are saying Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential “no way it’s ever going to happen” hopeful Newton Leroy Gingrich’s being told he’s done, and Newton’s sugar daddy, casino magnate Sheldon Adelson’s apparently lost any hope in his electoral prospects; that’s pretty much the end when your one chief – if not only – backer decides you’re done. To date Adelson has reportedly poured about $16.5 million down the Gingrich drain.

Adelson’s conceded his “golden boy’s” basically got no chance of winning the GOTP nomination, “It appears as though [Gingrich is] at the end of his line. Because mathematically he can’t get anywhere near the numbers [of delegates required to gain the nomination], and there’s unlikely to be a brokered convention.”

Of course even if there’s a brokered convention who outside of Newt and Callista really believes he’d ever – in a million years – be the GOTP nominee?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Newton’s never had a chance; he’s not just damaged goods, he’s the box that fell out of the UPS truck on the interstate overpass and got pummeled by every other vehicle for the next three hours until there’s nothing left. He’s a failed former House Speaker who resigned in disgrace; a failed former House Speaker who had not one, but at least two extra-marital affairs, while prosecuting a President for lying about an affair; a failed former House Speaker who didn’t just have affairs but who also asked for an “open marriage” and who told one wife he was divorcing her while she was undergoing chemotherapy, all while trumpeting – wait for it – “family values”; yeah, like he ever had a chance; but hopefully he sticks around for awhile if only to annoy Willard.

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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Romney supports Walker?

Talk about saying whatever it takes to win a nomination, according to news reports, Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential wannabee Willard Mitt Romney has told Wisconsin voters he supports embattled Governor Scott Walker.

“Governor Walker is, in my opinion, an excellent governor,” Romney said, according to a report by ABC News. “And I believe that he is right to stand up for the citizens of Wisconsin and to insist that those people who are working in the public sector unions have rights to affect their wages but that these benefits and retiree benefits have fallen out of line with the capacity of the state to pay them.”

“And so I support the governor in his effort to rein in the excesses that have permeated the public sector union and government negotiations over the years,” Romney said.

Clearly Willard doesn’t understand the facts concerning Wisconsin’s financial woes, such as they were created by, wait for it, tax cuts to the wealthy and tax breaks to Walker supporters which created a monstrous deficit Walker tried to blame on school teachers, nurses, cops and firemen; hence the recall. Once again Romney is going after those evil public sector employees who are single handedly responsible for the financial downfall of America. Those darned teachers with their exorbitant salaries and retirement packages.

Of course Willard seems oblivious to the recall campaign being waged against Walker; he’s either as obtuse on these matters as he appears or he’s willing to side with an uber-conservative governor who’s fighting for his political life in an attempt to appear more conservative than Rick Santorum; eventually he has to come back towards sanity, aka the middle, and Wisconsin voters aren’t likely to forget his full throated support of Walker.

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2012 in 2012 Election

 

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