According to FOX News there’s a little hick Texas school district bragging about how it may just be may be the very first in these darned blamed United States to pass a law allowing Schoolmarms and staff to tote shooting irons to school.

Who are these lame brains you ask? Well, they’re the so-called Trustees at the Harrold Independent School District and they approved a district policy change last October so employees can carry concealed firearms to deter and protect against school shootings, provided the teachers follow certain requirements.

Superintendent David Thweatt said the policy was initiated because of safety concerns.

“We have had employees assaulted before by people in the last several years,” Thweatt said. “I think that safety is big concern. We are seeing a lot of anger in society.”

But hold on thar now partner, don’t get your knickers all knotted up, in order for teachers and such to carry a pistol, they must:

1. Have a Texas license to carry a concealed handgun – which means, “You’re breathing and can whistle Dixie”.
2. Be authorized to carry by the district – what are the odds these numb nuts will tell someone no? Pretty close to zip I’d think.
3. Receive training in crisis management and hostile situations – because teachers and janitors are always level headed and never get upset
4. Use ammunition specifically designed to minimize the risk of ricochet in school halls – because you don’t want any ricochets, don’t worry about the caliber of the pistols firing the bullets, it’s OK if they pass through walls and doors, but for Pete’s sake don’t let them ricochet; you do understand there’s no such thing as ammo that doesn’t ricochet? Can we be any more obtuse?

Thweatt said the small community is too far from the sheriff’s office (30 minutes), leaving students and teachers without protection. He said the district’s lone campus sits 500 feet from heavily trafficked U.S. 287, which could make it a target.

Well here’s an idea Cletus, hire an armed school police officer or two; it’s a lot safer than arming teachers, secretaries, janitors, and lunch ladies, and you won’t have the chance of a teacher losing their cool with a class or a student and start waving their piece around. In more than ten years of teaching, and having worked with hundreds of teachers, there are maybe five I’d trust with a gun in school.

“The naysayers think [a shooting] won’t happen here,” Thweatt said. “If something were to happen here, I’d much rather be calling a parent to tell them that their child is OK because we were able to protect them.”

You can almost hear Thweatt’s next bright idea, “Next year we’re going to install minefields around the school and require staff and students to wear tin foil hats, because if the Ruskies or Koreans attack they’ll get caught up in the mines, and then the staff can mow them down, and well, the tin foil will prevent the space aliens from reading our minds.”