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Tag Archives: Michele Bachmann

All Americans should pay taxes?

The Associated Press (AP) is reporting Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential hopeful Michele “Krazy” Bachmann is telling college students in politically important Iowa that all Americans should pay taxes since they all benefit from services such as roads and bridges, national defense and the courts.

You know what? That’s one of the first things I’ve agreed with her on, but lets be fair, all Americans should pay their fair share of taxes Krazy.

Bachmann evidently decided it was time to talk about the economy since she’s plummeted into political oblivion trailing way, way, way behind other contenders in Iowa; however, there’s not a snowball’s chance in Hell she’ll win any of the caucuses or primaries, much less the GOTP nomination.

Krazy won an early test vote in Ames in August but ever since she’s been steadily slipping further and further behind as the fickle GOTP uber-conservative electorate first rallied around Perry and then Cain. Somehow she’s hoping to climb back to the top of the political car wreck which is the GOTP nomination cycle, especially as “the Reverend” Rick Perry appears to be drunkenly stumbling through speeches and Herman “Pizza Man” Cain tries to get past allegations of sexual harassment.

Reportedly, an outline of her speech shows Krazy being prepared to criticize the current federal tax code as too complicated and corporate tax rates as unreasonably high; basically saying she’ll raise taxes on the lower classes while proposing increased tax breaks for the wealthy and for corporations; wow, another uber-conservative nothing tax plan pandering to the ultra wealthy and the economic ignorant of the Tea Party base.

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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Occupy protests aren’t spontaneous?

Michele “Krazy” Bachmann weighed in on the Occupy Wall Street movement after having gone by one of the protests in Washington D.C. a couple days before. Appearing on CNN, she suggested the demonstrators should be targeting the president, not Wall Street.

“I don’t know how spontaneous these protests were, but it seems to be that their anger should be directed at the White House. Because Barack Obama’s policies have put us in one of the worst tailspins, economically, that we have,” Bachmann said. “And maybe that’s why the protest that I saw was within shouting distance of the White House.”

Well, actually Krazy it’s been the policies of you and your fellow do-nothings in the GOTP House and Senate who’ve blocked basically everything the President’s attempted to do. So, you’re half right – the protestors shouldn’t be directing all of their angst at Wall Street, and good portion of it ought to be directed towards Congress, particularly towards the GOTP side of the aisle.

Speaking later San Francisco, Krazy let it out that she wasn’t happy with the protestors hygiene; “At least the Tea Party picks up their own trash.”

How very insightful Michele – in a 1950s domesticated, subservient, housewivey sort of way.

 
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Posted by on October 28, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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Birthers and the GOTP Candidates

Not since Donald “the Hair” Trump dropped his run for the Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential nomination has the issue of President Barack Obama’s citizenship been raised, but now it seems the Reverend Ricky Perry is attempting to rekindle the birther conspiracy anew.

Apparently Reverend Ricky met with “the Hair” last month in New York City, and later told Parade Magazine he has no “definitive” answer on whether the president was born in the United States. “It’s a good issue to keep alive. It’s fun to poke at him,” he told John Harwood in a follow-up interview.

“It’s a good issue to keep alive”?

“It’s fun to poke at him”?

These are the types of comments that have catapulted Perry to bottom dwelling mud sucking stature in recent polling; we haven’t seen this type of ignorance in a GOTP candidate since another Texan vacated the White House recently.

But wait, what have other GOTP contenders said about the President’s illegitimacy?

Well, way back in March, just before she started her ill-fated run for the White House, Michele “Krazy” Bachmann said if she were to run the very first thing she’d do is offer up her birth certificate.

And of course like any good candidate courting the fringe uber-conservative Tea Party vote, Bachmann has hinted at cynicism of where exactly the President was born, but when asked on ABC’s Good Morning America, she said that it wasn’t for her to say, and that Americans should take the president at his word.

The very next month found Krazy still being quite lucid, and she said it was time to move on from the birther debate when ABC’s George Stephanopoulos showed her an official copy of the president’s birth certificate. “Well, that should settle it,” she said. “Yeah, there you go; because that is not the main issue facing the United States right now.”

However, all you have to do to make a conservative turn “Krazy” is ask them a question on FOX PAC and BAAAAM! In a recent interview with FOX, Krazy was critical of the president for not immediately addressing the question of his citizenship:

“It’s an interesting issue that has gone on for so long, and it’s one that the president could have solved very early on. All he had to do was just answer some questions and show his document, and then people do an attestation that this in fact is a legal document, and it’s over, it’s done. And I think the president has neglected to focus on answering that question for people, and that’s why a lot of people still have it lingering on their minds.”

When he was first asked about the subject during an interview with the Atlantic back in February, Herman Cain replied, “I have no idea (if he was born here) … because I have not reviewed all the various ‘proof’ one way or another.” He went on, “That’s not a yes or a no. I don’t know. I don’t have a dog in that fight.”

By this summer however Cain was singing a different tune, suggesting in an interview that the President wasn’t a citizen, but had been “raised in Kenya.” The assertion came in Cain’s explanation for why he doesn’t consider himself an African American, but rather an “American. Black. Conservative.” Obama, on the other hand, is “more of an international,” he said.

Perry and Bachmann’s opinions are meaningless – just like their respective candidacies – but Cain’s in the big leagues now and can ill afford to be placed amongst the lunatics of the GOTP travelling circus; the fact he’s not capable of dismissing this argument shows just how desperate he is to court the crazy fringe element of the FOX watching, talk radio kool-aid drinking Tea Party rallying uber-conservatives – the same ones who will not vote for a black man when it actually becomes time to pull the lever.

 
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Posted by on October 25, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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I Don’t Think I Ever Said That?

The Huffington Post is reporting that Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential wanabee worse than anyone else Michele “Krazy” Bachmann, who in early October introduced a bill in the House of Representatives that would force women to listen to the fetal heartbeat before having an abortion, made the surprising comment in Iowa recently that abortion bans should be left up to the states.

“I think that’s referring to late-term abortion, and I think that’s something that most people find anathema, and they would prefer to see it outlawed,” she told the Iowa Republican in response to a question about abortion bans. “That’s a state issue, and so it’s up to the people of Iowa to decide what they want to do.”

It appears that along with her high heel induced migraines she may also be suffering from short term memory loss, not more than a week later, Krazy denied ever having had the conversation, despite the video of her comments that was posted online.

“I don’t think I ever said that, that a late-term abortion ban is a state issue,” Bachmann told blogger Shane Vander Hart in a phone interview on Saturday. “I don’t ever recall anything about that. I don’t recall a question about that. I’ve always been absolutely unequivocal about [abortion being a federal issue]. They should contact the campaign before they post something like that, because that is not true.”

Krazy seems to be reeling from some sort of out of body experience – perhaps she’s feeling Herman Cain’s pain after his recent gaffe about abortion not being a government issue. But Bachmann – unlike Cain – told the blogger, she’s strong, consistent and decisive on pro-life matters.

Voters “get an idea of the person, and then they pull back the layers,” she told Vander Hart. “Then they find out another candidate really isn’t pro-life. The more people find out where the candidates truly are standing, the more I’m confident that people will choose me as their nominee.”

This is the problem with Michele Bachmann, as it was for Sarah Palin and many GOTP political types; she spews out whatever she thinks the current listener wants to hear, and then moves on oblivious to the fact in today’s modern world of technology someone might have taped the conversation.  Krazy’s grasping at whatever straws she can find to keep her name out there for the uber-conservative evangelical vote, she just won’t admit that she’s done – she’s the Ross Perot of this campaign, and when she can’t win the GOTP nomination she’ll be the one who’ll most likely try a third party run.

 
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Posted by on October 24, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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Bachmann’s entire paid staff in New Hampshire runs away

The Associated Press (AP) is reporting that Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential candidate Michele “Krazy” Bachmann is losing her entire New Hampshire staff – all five of them.

Bachmann spokeswoman Alice Stewart disputed reports of a staff shakeup, saying: “We have a great team in New Hampshire. We haven’t been notified that anyone’s left the campaign.”

Still, Stewart reportedly said she hadn’t been able to reach the top New Hampshire staff to confirm they were still on board. She said she had reached some junior staffers who didn’t say they were leaving.

Meanwhile sources close to the White Star Line are denying there’s anything wrong on board the RMS Titanic, and no one should assume that just because they can’t contact the ship that anything’s gone wrong.

Campaign finance reports show that Krazy, who has fallen in polls and struggled to raise money, had (what a coincidence) five paid staff in New Hampshire as recently as late September.

The once GOTP presidential headliner has largely ignored the first-in-the-nation primary state in recent months. She has been focused on Iowa and South Carolina, where her social conservative message has more appeal.

Krazy hasn’t visited New Hampshire very often since launching her presidential campaign in June, and since mistaking it for Massachusetts (that whole darned “shot heard round the world” mistake) and Stewart acknowledged a greater focus on Iowa, where Bachmann was born and where she won the GOP’s presidential straw poll in August.

According to Bachmann aides, her Iowa staff consists of 11 paid members, including her national political director who relocated to Iowa this fall. The staff is among the larger teams in the leadoff caucus state; a state where she’s polling in fourth place behind Cain, Romney and Gingrich. Someone please stick her with a fork.

 
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Posted by on October 22, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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Bachmann wants to adopt the Reagan tax plan?

Of course Republican Tea Party (GOTP) hopeful Michelle “Krazy” Bachmann would declare on FOX PAC that she wants to adopt the Reagan tax plan, it’s where every desperate conservative candidate hoping to regain ground goes; apparently however, she doesn’t understand that would mean a rather hefty tax increase to put the tax rate where it was under the Gipper.

Krazy has been very scornful of Herman “Pizza Man” Cain’s “9-9-9” tax plan, especially of the idea of a national sales tax.

“For my tax plan, I take a page out of one of my great economists that I admire, Ronald Reagan,” Bachmann said. “And under my tax plan I want to adopt the Reagan tax plan. It brought the economic miracle of the 1980s. Why not go with what works? I want to reinstitute the Reagan tax model from the 1980s.”

Excuse me? Krazy is of course a dyed in the wool conservative who has selective memory regarding the Reagan “economic miracle” and what caused it. While it’s true Reagan cut taxes in his first year, he subsequently raised them, including some of the highest tax increases by any U.S. President during peace time (https://thelibertytree.wordpress.com/2011/07/19/reagan-was-not-a-tax-cutter-he-was-a-tax-raiser/ ).

Reagan’s “tax cuts” led to an increased tax burden on all Americans, and an exploded deficit and national debt – the “golden era” of Reaganomics actually lasted less than a year when it was realized it wouldn’t create the revenue the administration had predicted, but conservatives will never admit this, and will go gaga over any politician who proclaims they’re the next Reagan; well Ms. Bachmann, I knew Ronald Reagan, and you’re no Ronald Reagan, you’re not even a Michael Reagan.

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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Tina Fey says she will not run for president?

Well, it’s finally official – sort of; according to the Associated Press (AP) ex-sportscaster/beauty queen contestant/mayor/VP candidate/governor Sarah Palin is saying she will not run for president, leaving little doubt that the eventual Republican Tea Party (GOTP) nominee will come from the current field of contenders – or some reasonable facsimile thereof.

After months of leaving her loyal subjects guessing, the Ice Queen has issued a proclamation saying that she and her royal consort Todd “devote ourselves to God, family and country,” and that her decision by golly maintains that order don’t ya know.

Her Majesty told uber-conservative per-adolescent radio bloviator Mark Levin that she would not consider a third party candidacy because it would assure President Barack Obama’s reelection.

Yeah, because those hundred or so votes would make all the difference.

Later, in a video authenticated by the CIA and posted on Youtube, Palin said, “you don’t need an office or a title to make a difference.”

Interestingly enough, it was during the unsuccessful 2008 presidential campaign of John McCain, that Palin – the VP nominee – seemed overwhelmed by the national spotlight, faltering at times in televised interviews even when asked straightforward questions, and it was just this week that a former McCain staffer revealed there was serious talk inside the campaign questioning if Palin was fit to be sworn in if they had won the election.

Crazy or not, Palin’s decision is hardly surprising; to put it quite simply, there’s no money in running for president, and clearly her support has eroded to such a point where her chances of winning the nomination – much less the presidency – were somewhere between slim-to-none and a snow ball’s chance. Fact is Palin isn’t now, and never has been, presidential and the GOTP is better off with her not running and simply sniping from the sidelines.

So, now Michele Bachmann is the only crazy woman running, and as anyone who’s attended a family reunion can attest, one crazy woman at a picnic is enough.

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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President should be impeached?


The Huffington Post is reporting that Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential wanabee has been Michele “Krazy” Bachmann was working hard – on the campaign trail in Iowa Tuesday – when she agreed with a supporter who suggested that President Barack Obama be impeached in order to “get him out of the way.”

“Well, I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you, I agree, I agree. Some people are really upset,” Krazy replied to the man before moving on to meet another supporter.

Problem is the Congresswoman clearly doesn’t understand what the requirements are for the House of Representatives to Impeach the President; you don’t get to do so just because your uber-conservative white bread supporters say so.

The United States Constitution – a document Bachmann claims to have read and revere clearly states in Article II, Section 4, “The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.”

So, outside of the bizarre world uber-conservatives live in with their addled brains, having been turned to glop by a steady stream of FOX PAC and right-wing talk radio, exactly what act of “Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors” has the President been accused of, and most importantly convicted of? Bueller? Anyone else? Anyone at all? Outside of the collective Brain Captains convention of the uber-conservatives there is no one who thinks this. The GOTP House, controlled by Newt Gingrich impeached President Clinton and then the Senate Judiciary Committee – lead by Orrin Hatch refused to put him on trial. It isn’t an easy thing to do, so wake up citizens of obtuse land.

Krazy is now wandering around Iowa, hearing voices, and interpreting them as a command she run for the presidency while searching for a magic corn field where she can play baseball with Shoeless Joe Jackson – oh wait, scratch that, I don’t think the Kinsellas and Bachmann would get along very well; so, she’s just wandering aimlessly around Iowa agreeing with anything her supporters say, hoping she’ll win the state’s caucus and be miraculously catapulted into the GOTP nomination.

Meanwhile, back in the real world her poll numbers continue to plummet, and her staff continues to defect.

 
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Posted by on October 5, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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More rats leave Bachmann’s presidential ship

According to the Associated Press (AP) Republican Tea Party (GOTP) presidential hopeful Michele “Krazy” Bachmann is losing more of her posse, including her pollster and senior adviser raising questions about the practicability of her White House bid and also about her campaign finances.

Reportedly, Pollster Ed Goeas will be leaving the campaign along with senior adviser Andy Parrish, Doug Sachtleben, a deputy press secretary, and Krazy’s scheduler, Kimberley Rubin.

It’s speculated these moves signal an effort to make every penny count in a dwindling campaign chest a mere three months ahead of the first Republican nominating contests.

Bachmann is so done – if you stuck her with a fork she’d shrivel up like the Crypt Keeper.

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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Bachmann says GOTP nominee must be true conservative, just like her?

According to the Associated Press (AP), former Republican Tea Party (GOTP) darling Michele “Krazy” Bachmann is reportedly dismissing concerns about the strength of her campaign and told supporters she alone has the best conservative credentials to be president.

“I’ve got the complete skill set to do this job,” she told a huge crowd of roughly 35 people in a half-full Cedar Rapids, Iowa hotel ballroom on a dreary rainy day.

Wow, a whole 35 people?! That’s incredible; however did you manage such a huge crowd, especially with the rain and all?!

“This message has to be driven home by conservatives: We can’t settle. We can’t settle. We have to have a candidate who has it all,” she said. “Who is a fiscal conservative, and I am. Who is a national security – peace through strength conservative – like Ronald Reagan was. And I am. And we have to have someone who is a social conservative, who believes in the family. And I do. And we need a tea party conservative, and I am.”

“And we need someone who is not entirely all there. And I am not entirely all there,” her Brain Captain threw in for good measure.

Krazy suggested some of her GOTP opponents couldn’t be trusted to repeal Obama’s health care law – aka Mittens Romney; and the rest didn’t understand foreign policy as well as she does and some were compromised because they’d done favors for political donors – aka Reverend Perry.

And some didn’t understand how hard it was to push through high heal induced migraines, or how hard it was to be submissive to their husbands; or how hard it was not to know American history.

Bachmann thanked the people for showing up and tried to justify the dismally light attendance.

“I know it was short notice,” she said, “it’s in the middle of the day, everyone’s at work, it’s a rainy day, there’s a lot of places you can be.”

Her Brain Captain continued the thought, “And I know there’s lots to do in Cedar Rapids, like watching the grass grow or the paint drying, and I am just so doggone happy and thrilled you gave up those events to come listen to me try to continue to justify my pitiful existence as a presidential hopeful.”

According to the AP, Krazy shook nearly every hand in the room and signed autographs.

Wow, she shook nearly all 35 hands?! That’s incredible; however did she manage to get around to nearly everyone in the room?! It must have taken minutes!

Krazy strongly dismissed suggestions her campaign was floundering, saying voters would pick the nominee, not the news media. And she said she believes she is “positioned perfectly right now” to compete for the nomination because conservatives are looking for someone with her fiery message and record of opposing Obama.

And this ship is entirely capable of making it all the way to New York in spite of that huge gaping hole running along her side.

She’s certifiable; she’s completely 100% certifiable; there’s no way – NO WAY – she’s ever going to win the nomination. She hasn’t had a snow ball’s chance since day 1 and she hasn’t got a snow ball’s chance now. The only good thing about her continued candidacy is that she’s providing the comic relief – watching her campaigning is like watching Lucille Ball or Mary Tyler Moore on crack.

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2011 in 2012 Election

 

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